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      英文简历的致命错误

      时间2018-08-01 英文简历 我要投稿

        致命的大错

        "finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

        "qualifications: no education or experience."

        "i am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

        "my compensation should be at least equal to my age."

        "reason for leaving: it had to do with the irs, fbi and sec."

        "fired because i fought for lower pay."

        "size of employer: very tall, probably over 65" .

        "please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

        "reason for leaving: my boss said the end of the world is near."

        "reason for leaving: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia.

        i prefer to elaborate privately."

        打字错误与语法错误

        "here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

        "strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

        "i am a rabid typist."

        "work history: performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

        "after receiving advice from several different angels, i have decided to

        pursue a new line of work."

        "accounting cleric."

        "as indicted, i have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

        "suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."

        "suspected to graduate early next year."

        "disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

        "proven ability to track down and correct erors."

        "accomplishments: oversight of entire department."

        "am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

        "accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school."

        不应有的幽默

        "note: keep this resume on top of the stack. use all others to heat your house."

        "assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (translation: short-order cook.)

        "but wait...theres more. you get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

        "i have an excellent track record, although i am not a horse."

        "my fortune cookie said, your next interview will result in a job-and i like your company in particular."

        "title: another resume from the profiles in excellence series."

        "also known as: mr. productivity, mr. clever, mr.fix-it."

        "trustworthy references available upon request-if i give them a few bucks."

        "lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience."

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